First, we are going to talk about approach anxiety, the reason is that you do have to go through a small window of kind of spam approaching to get rid of Approach Anxiety (basically scare of going up to strange women to flirt with them), now I recommend doing this probably in day game cause it would be easier to pull of than inside a club. After getting approach anxiety somewhat handled, I believe spam approaching could actually do more harm than good….. The initial type of spam approach face will help you a bit to understand women reactions, attitudes, body language, guesstimates. This guesstimates could be wrong, but the % of wrong is very minute compare to the % of rights based on Experience.
Women are very intuitive and socially savvy, they can sense and feel pretty much everything, like a “car alarm system” they know what is going on and can pick up on vibes quickly like a sixth sense(way more than guys). Now as much as we believe that everybody is watching us, is not true, people are worried about themselves and minding their own biz… But, if you are in small type venue, and you frequent that venue, women are somewhat observant specially if you are “a cool dude”(which is were we want to be and not a normalfag)….If you are a regular club goer there are some guys that i have seen that hit on ALL THE WOMEN, you will notice that they are not very successful, sure they may get a girl every once in a while but if you start throwing shit against the wall something will stick.
The hitting on so many women aka spam approaching is not a really efficient (minimize amount of time and effort) system, plus you will never really develop a good enough “skill set” (meaning actions that will produce the more likelihood of a positive reaction). There are many of the top club guys in the community that have been out on the field with other people and have verified proof.- teevester, sleazy, illuminatus, cosy, steve jabba.(I am only mentioning people that have been seen on the field, but for example sexaddict, dogsoldier, ijjji,pureevil do not spam approach and follow similar model).
The main problem with spam approaching is that it will kill your joy, it will burn you out, and it just does not fucking work, i don’t care who it is contradicting what i am saying, go out and spam approach every weekend for a year, i will see how you will be miserable and end up just getting a girlfriend and going mono from burn out.
The good seducers will not do that many approaches and they will get laid if they want to (as you rack up numbers sometimes you want more meaningful encounters and a single night lay will not be that much of a priority, plus you have rotations of women). I am not talking day game or online game.
The new strawman of just looking for indication of interest or approach invites, is ridiculous, misleading and bs…. What most do is take advantage of club dynamics of time of the night, for example the first hour or 2 hours of a club typically people are in their head and not hooking up…. But they mingle, look at tells and group dynamics,hoover, look at groups, OR FORCE REACTIONS, either verbally, dancing, via body language… Most of them looking for absence of fuck off, get away, your repulse me, i am taking (verbally or none verbally). And yes they will either minimize the interaction or move on, or calibrate the interaction and see if they have something to work on…. I talk about this in detail in this post breaking it down like a baby.
Opening, minimazing time in interactions, and escalating -this is good, since in clubs time is king… Time is the most valuable asset in the club… To use the time correctly you need to also understand club dynamics.
here is my friend sexaddict911 as seen in my book (who has slept with over 800 women):
How many of the best pick up artists do you know. You “LOL” like you know better, pick up is not baseball…and yes we are talking about another human being, one that will tell you a million things with her body language alone. Even if a woman acts as though she is not interested, her body and unconscious mind will tell you different if she is in fact interested.
I have bitten my tongue for too long, I thought I’d sit back and see if I could actually relate to the general mentality of this forum, but truthfully, it’s a bunch of haters, or people seeking validation. I see post of guy’s preaching their skills and how to do this and that, yet at the beginning of the thread they will say shit like I have been a PUA for 3 yrs WTF! You bash a guy for actually wanting to be a pick up artist rather then a fucking pick up monkey. If you guys wanna run around and approach every woman you see, then yes expect a lot of rejection. If you want to frequent a club and hit on every hot chick you see, then go ahead, but dont expect to pick up any of them.
Lets say you play the numbers game and on average, 2 out of 10 women you can pick up. Now lets say, you approach the first 8 that you can’t get. Do you honestly think your state of mind is gonna be the same as if you found the 2 that are down first? Of course not, no matter how much confidence you have you are going to be affected. Not only that, if the 2 women that you can get have been watching you try to pick up the other 8, there’s a great chance they will no longer be interested. And trust me, if a woman has interest in you, you can sure as hell believe she has been watching you.
When i first came to this forum, i talked about how i take a good amount of time to pre-screen women and look for women that show interest before I approach and I got mocked and laughed at, in my mind i was like wtf? OK i’ll shut up, maybe these people know another method, maybe they can show something I don’t already know. Maybe there is something to all this PUA mental masterbation.
A good majority of this forum are full of shit, and need to open their eyes. It’s not rocket science, it’s interacting with another human being, but if you are playing the numbers game rather then having a true passion for women and the art of pick up, you are never gonna get anywhere, sure you may get laid a lot, but if you are not learning from your seductions, learning about women, about their desires and needs, learning to identify the obtainable women, learning to identify the woman that are showing interest as opposed to the ones that have zero interest, then you will never evolve and you will be stuck in a revolving door.
If you don’t believe me, ask a dude like Poeticlyskuac, ask him what his pick up ratio is, I guarantee you it’s extremely high. Why? Because he is learning the most important things about pick up. How to correctly interpret IOI’s and body language in general
Now here is a story of a dude that got burned out from the spamming approach to seduction:
It has been a long time since I have been doing Real Social Dynamics since 2008…but let this whole thing serve as a revelation to the truth of these guys since I knew game since 2007 when I was 17 and going on 18 in 2008. I’m a fairly good looking guy, I’m not overweight, I used to run 3200m track varsity and I actually got into pickup due to a bad breakup with my 4th girlfriend in high school….
To make short of a long story (this will still be long..but trust me compressing 4 years into a small post is SHORT), I met Tyler early on in Hollywood, when he was clearly overweight kissing about 2-3 girls…1 was hot and 2 were OK in a reality where I never did anything other than daygame in mid-2007 when I was introduced to pick-up. I used to live very close to Hollywood, so naturally I wanted to go out and experience the club scene. The guy told me to come to his little seminar and I did with a few friends/other pick up guys from Casanova Crew (one of these was a guy I met by the name of Kong, from the now notable SimplePickup which essentially is a company that has taken RSD concepts and watered them down to simplicity of inner-game). At least SimplePickup waters this shit down to what it is: approaching and no excuses…but also do they really need to charge $1995 for bootcamps which I personally believe are rip-offs trying to teach guys they can learn “a lot” other than approaching? Either way, even if I get banned on SimplePickup forums, I do not care as I told the truth and I’m entitled to that – everyone is.
Over the course of several months, I went nightgaming with RSD guys when I turned 18, mostly to 18+ clubs in Hollywood….and then I had to leave state for school. In between then and later, I essentially kept coming back to Hollywood and nightgaming with these guys TWTF from 6-2 AM everyday. I’ve seen it all. I have seen them do bathroom pulls, I’ve seen them do club pulls, I’ve seen them do stupid shit that works…but what they never tell you is the haunting truth of pick-up: that it’s a numbers game.
I figured I would debut my story on postmasculine after stumbling onto Mark’s posts which have words of realism in his message that reigns true towards the truth. In my time with RSD, I had learned a lot…or at least being an always open-minded guy myself, gave them a chance. I was already daygaming (I never knew pick-up existed) due to chance (luck) occurrence with Paul Janka in 2007 when I lived in NYC before he came on public TV and Dr. Phil around summer of 2008. I was told never to go to clubs …and “compete with every other dick” so I never did. But RSD in 2008 sold me an image of truth…they sold me all these “inner game” mentalities such as “FREEDOM FROM OUTCOME, MAN TO WOMAN, DIRECT INTENT, SELF-AMUSEMENT” which sounded fucking amazing at the time. I believed them because I was always a direct gamer at heart…but I revolved around getting the number and getting out…these guys didn’t essentially give a fuck. I bought into the delusion and did whats called “mass approaching”
This mass approaching is all RSD teaches, through their $5,000 3:1 bullshit bootcamps, to their lame ass Hotseat 2 videos showing nothing but some mediocre pulls throughout a year’s worth of footage and lastly some drunken makeouts (Although they say anyone who thinks the girls in the videos are drunk are just ‘negative mentality’). The truth, as I have learned it, is that nightgame is a pure numbers game. There is no real tactic, there is nothing. At the end of the day, Mark, I don’t know if you’re another pick up guy selling products with bad marketing of guaranteeing easy nightclub lays and what not, but based on your response..I extremely doubt it and this is why after reading your own responses and the responses of many, I decided to finally publicly disclose my RSD Journey from 2007-Jan 2011.
I kept approaching on a nightly basis, and at first I “believed in the process” as they said. I really did, because I was always open-minded and a truth-seeker at best. How was I to know they were lying to me if I didn’t try it out myself? How can I make a logical justification that it wasn’t “just me” or my “skill level.” But the amazing part of the formless art of seduction that is REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS reveals that that’s all they are: fraudulent scam artists at best selling guys on a bad dream, a bunch of meaningless free tour videos, and lastly a heavy number of faked field reports and positively coerced bootcamps “Feedback” forums.
It soon happened where over the course of 12 months of nightgame I had approached over 7,000 women, roughly and I’m seriously just estimating as it’s impossible for me to know. Tyler himself told me at 2,000 approaches and literally…some of the worst lay decisions I made in my life out of desperation and utilizing some of the worst “outer game” skills / bad execution skills in sleeping with girls I did not find VERY attractive just desperately marginally….that I just wasn’t “an expert YET.”
“You’re just not at our level yet motherfucker. Ho ho hehehahoo.” he told me. What was I to think…the guy was in a book…and admittedly looking back at it now…I guess I wasn’t very intelligent despite going to an Ivy League school for an education. But besides the point, I trusted the process. So an entire year went by and I had very little lays to show for it…why? Because I just had great standards. I only wanted the stunners…nothing else. But then Tyler told me “dude you’re putting too much value on the hot ones! Bang a fattie. It’s great spirtual energy to give back…” I didn’t believe that shit…but I definitely…without realizing it…LOWERED my standards 10-fold. There came a point that I went out on/off with Tyler and some other RSDers to Hollywood that followed that sort of sick cultism something which became glaringly clear: all we did was exactly why I believe this industry is a scam – we played a huge numbers game like anyone else in this industry of cold approaching and night gaming and anything else. The truth is out.
Approach, approach, approach was labeled “social momentum” and words such as “state” and “being in state” / inner game became dogma for what I consider a period in where I was lost…but I was always an approach machine…thanks to Paul.
Within 3 years, I think I approached over 50,000+ women (has to be minus some nights missed) had some bathroom pulls with some wasted girls and some ACTUAL hotties (but this was extremely rare). Most girls were average if not it seemed like I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. It literally, came to a point where Tyler said “dude keep at it…you’re intermediate right now…” but when I reached 20,000 approaches…it was obvious.. I was an “Expert” I was told I can consistently get women than the newbie…but the sad fact was: I COULDN’T.
I started to live a sick lie….and Mark you mentioned
“Like saito mentioned, every time I see their products, see their forum, or even see them… there’s just this subtle air of power-hunger behind everything. You say they write for two audiences. I honestly think they must believe their own bullshit.
This happened to me…I started to greatly exaggerate my actual successes…my last minute resistances (Which shockingly semi-mediocre girls also give) and moreover I started to power-trip and believe in RSD more and more for reasons unknown but worst of all…I believe my own bullshit…I truly believed it and I had no idea why. Worst part is, when the numbers game hits (by numbers game I mean pure LUCK after the APPROACH) and you find yourself shocked when you tell a girl in a nightclub “I’m going to rape you” as an opener and you actually get laid from it…fucking ridiculous (btw she was a 7).
But the truth is….it’s just all a sick lie. Most of the instructors make up their “wild experiences” and while Jeffy actually has sex with some girls in a van, it’s not like they’re actual hotties (only very few), and Julien’s so called doctor girlfriend/playmate girl were not that hot (even on an objective scale but this needed to be said). Do they fuck hotties in a blue moon? Yes….but it’s after approaching thousands of women and even then it’s a majority of blow-outs, fake #s, Day2s that never happen, and more.
I don’t know when it hit me… whether it was hearing all the faked up stories they did for their free tour videos (that I am now on an active crusade to reveal the truth about those scammers)….or whether they were charging guys thousands of dollars…saying it was no “magic pill” and then saying how they themselves are “Experts” at consistently getting laid from clubs, pulling EVERY TIME…and sharing insanely FAKE stories of “creating artificial drama with women” and additional fake shit of students “banging right after bootcamps/free tours magically” …but one thing became glaringly obvious and I don’t care to state my true story here for all to read (take it or leave it…but don’t say no one fucking warned you that it’s a numbers game at best): I realized that it was all a fucking lie. A land of the blind leading the blind….and worst of all …..desperate men who lacked women in their lives and BADLY people who NEED a therapist….trying to prove to themselves or the world something…trying to prove to themselves they aren’t the loser they were in high school/their social circles/ etc out of some mental health issue. And perhaps me trying to prove to myself that I wasn’t the loser my 4th girlfriend broke up with me stating she should have never been in a relationship with me (harsh words). Instead, these men turn to even worst men: those looking to make money from this field and the ones who are not truthful of their lays, the quality of their lays, and moreover the numbers game/pure luck nature of this madness (something I’m not trying to do as I’m well off already with a stable income).
Either way…I realized….especially after also seeing some instructors “HB 10s” who were actually my “HB 5’s and 7s at best” with an occasional ACTUAL hot girl (But very fucking rare) on their phones….that it was all a sick lie. Tyler basically took Mystery’s scamming ways and did it ten-fold on guys ready to believe him….and guys who became a part of this sick cult ready to smash anyone else for not believing in RSD…(I was one of these guys). I was never active on their forum…even though someone took the name I wanted (this one)…but I did slam any guy I met in public that any doubt was “limiting belief” how they were “chodes” and if you told me everything I said today literally 2 years ago, I would have told myself that I’m a faggot for doubting RSD. I’m sure this story on RSD (when it gets there) will be greeted as pure garbage…but Tyler you can’t hide from what you are doing to these men….but I’m sure you wouldn’t appreciate it if someone did the same thing to your son if he had problems with women…or worse maybe you may do it to your kid yourself…
But really when you see the details in between the lines…ask yourselves…if these guys do get laid..how come some of their free tour videos are at night? If they do daygame so much to make a stance that “daygame is no different than nightgame” how come there is never any real in-field footage/proof of anything and even then most if not all their bootcamps are scheduled during the daytime, and all their videos done during the daytime? Something is amiss in this picture. Either way, all I know is their nightgame dogma and I know way too many examples on each individual instructor (Julien, Jeffy, and Tyler in particular) to know how much these guys are NOT getting laid by hot girls consistently. Of course if they told most guys…after the approach its PURE LUCK (even their calibration is bullshit) then no one would pay upwards of $3K for their bootcamp or let alone waste away in their free tour filth.
I write this TRUTH here in hopes that it hits a few minds….in hopes that if there is someone out there struggling as I did constantly looking up to these “Experts” on a personal level that there IS NO SKILL LEVEL to this and they are scammers at best (with fake stories in the countless numbers). THERE IS NOTHING YOU ARE DOING WRONG. If you are not approaching, that’s wrong…if you are not confident in yourself as a man or are awkward socializing in a NIGHT CLUB setting where people GO TO SOCIALIZE…THAT’S WRONG. If you cry after rejections, that’s fucking WRONG. SEEK the help of a therapist for this or force yourself to approach. All that needs to be done is approaching (numbers game), and connecting in a non-retarded way. Man to woman, freedom from outcome, all this other shit is useless. I think a majority of this pick-up community needs to be demolished or at the very best, RSD needs to be removed from the face of the Earth as all it will do is help guys to look like Asperger’s case syndromes or guys who are on some form of drugs at a night club with next to no lays and only their “unstifled” personality to show for it.
I write this as a final admission to my own guilty conscience and one as a victim of this pick-up community for 5 years (yea as a victim because I believed in this community as something which is skill-based but slowly found out it’s not). What else are you to believe when so many people are telling you there ARE experts to this…based on fake stories, until you see it with your OWN TWO EYES. I write this to tell anyone and everyone who was an extrovert and HAD a good social life that “PICK-UP” in terms of RSD and their “tactics” is not the way.
I write this to anyone who is going out daily to night clubs and seeing no results and some mediocre pulls that you should BREAK OUT while you still can…or you can experience depression on the verge of suicide when you realize all those thousands of approaches were in vain when you end up with MEDIOCRE lays with VERY FEW hotties in between. I write this, so that even if any of you do 50,000+ approaches over the years, you can NEVER say NO ONE told you – you are not some pick-up god. No one is and you did nothing fucking magical to get some girl.
Cold approach Pick up is a numbers game and a skill set, to get laid you NEED BOTH
Your goal should be to be “efficient” and minimize the numbers, I and the good clubbers I personally know do max 5 approaches on a bad night maybe 10 and we get laid. We are mingling, having a good time, having fun.
That’s just how I felt doing approach after approach like the puas said too. All that ends up happening once you gotten used to approaching is your rmood goes down. Becoming pissed and such. The puas try to say you did something wrong, bad gaming, blah blah. They’ll never say you weren’t her type, she was rude and snobby in general, or that the night itself was an off night.
Exactly, it is un efficient, do some of the things i advice forcing approach invites prior to approach, mingle, hoover etc… Those give better results and are more efficient…
True, true. I also notice that some nights all the snobs are out. Same thing with venues. When this is the case it’s just better to go to another spot or just call it a night. Rejection is part of dating in general but 10-20 rejections in one night will do damage to you.
if you are getting 10-20 rejections a night something you are doing wrong…
Of course I was exaggerating but you get the point. Some nights are just bad for reasons out of your control
Wish I read your article sooner. I came to the same conclusion yesterday after being at a networking event. After reading some networking books, I decided to open everyone. Man that was mentally draining and I made no real connections or business contacts.
I got over my approach anxiety a long time ago (at least for business settings…day game and clubs are still hard for me…). So there is no need for me to spam approach anymore. I need to focus more on the skill of conversation more than anything else.
Also, I disengaged too soon even when the conversation was going well. I planned on coming back to that person to have someone to talk to later, but things didn’t work out so well.
Besides, if you are walking around the room trying to open someone you will come off as insecure, needy, and desperate. People around you can sense it. I also noticed that some of the most socially savvy, most respected individuals there were perfectly okay being a wallflower for 5 or so minutes until a natural opportunity to engage someone came up or someone opened them.
And in my best club experiences, I usually ended up putting all my focus on/opening just two or three girls and that opportunity just naturally came up. I really should apply that to my next business networking event.
Yes, it’s a numbers game (heck a lot of life is just a numbers games), but you have to really put your focus and connect with the person in front of you at the moment to make progress. And connecting with people is a skill you have to develop.
PS They say you should never chase after happiness (as that strategy often backfires), but you should prioritize it instead (put yourself in a position to make coming across happiness more likely). I think the same can be said here. Don’t chase after opening girls/sets (unless you are getting over approach anxiety), but do put yourself in a position where you can have a lot of opportunities to open/be opened.
Rooster thanks for the response, you mention networking i think you would benefit of reading this article by my buddy the rev. lifestyle design http://revolutionarylifestyledesign.com/fuck-networking-networking-waste-time/