This weekend I met a model type blonde as I was going down the stairs from the club, she was looking at her cell phone, and I open her with something silly like ” No! do not bother calling me I did not bring my cell phone with me” or some stupid crap like that (openers are overrated they don’t matter, just open) then, she was qualifying her ugly cell phone to me ” I just lost my phone this is not my real phone” and I was busting her balls, she was laughing, being really nice and sweet. She was not really my type but, I was just mingling and being social interacting with a pretty girl. 20 minutes later I saw the same girl in a club, but now she was with her friends and she acted like she never seen me in her life and gave me fuck off body language, same sweet girl all of a sudden became a super bitch. Moreover, I had many girls that were super into me to the point of clingers level 5, to go cold all of a sudden. So what is happening? It is called a state change (mood change), and it happens a lot more often than in real life in club type environments. Here is a guru by the name of Teevester/tva oslo explaining what a state/mood change is:
Many guys tends to forget about the issue but it occurs to us all! I will here explain what i am talking about and then discuss how to avoid it. Then I will come up with some techniques that you can use to handle the problems that occurs due to a state change. What is a state change? You have probably been to a club once, approached a few women, been all over the place and suddenly, your state drops. You become kind of lazy, bored, tired, not in mood, not feeling like it, nothing to say, no balls… We have all been there. Then you push yourself and you reach back to the old good state again. Guess what? women are similar when it comes to state, in fact, they change states even fast than we men do! There states changes a lot, especially in clubs where there is a lot of things that happens, which can affect there state. Not talking about alcohol, which has a huge impact on someones states.
So, the main issue here is that after having had a good interaction with a women, it can happen that later on that night when you reopen, your woman can turn completely cold, not attracted, not horny, not cool… in fact her state has changed. Nothing wrong with you! it is just her state that has changed. The factors could have been many: other girls, other men, environment, loud music, lightening, alcohol, hormones, periods, the fact that it is getting late… and the list goes on. So, unless she turned cold right away after you have done a certain action that she doesn’t like, which is then probably your fault and you should start doing some damage control. However, if it just happens with the time, or after her being away from you for a few minutes… it is indeed not your fault. The problem is that men believes that they are the cause of her bad state, and since they had a really good vibe with the girl earlier on, they tend to get really needy in order to get the girl back into a hot state which she was in previously. This is dangerous as the more you try to get her back into a hot state, the more she will sense your neediness, the more she is going to turn cold! So watch out for this. If a woman turns cold at the club after having had a really good conversation with you, do not get needy to get her back into that “hot state”.
The best way to avoid this problem of getting women into a cold state, is to simply by escalating physically right away if her buying temperature is high (if she is in a hot state). For instance, if you have been interacting with this chick and she is all over you, talking about sex, qualifying to you, then escalate right away – this is crucial. The more you delay, the more boring it will for to her to be with you – the more chances she will lose her state and turn cold. So the best advice is to follow Gunwitch’s advice which is to close when the iron is hot. Go for the extraction/lay at the time you see she is up in a hot state. Later on, it will just get even harder. Go for it, if she gives you resistance, do a take away and try again later. She will not hate you for it, unless you don’t do a take away, which will make your sex offer into a validation source for her, and remember – if you give a woman what she wants without getting anything back, she will hate you for it. This is why sex is awesome as it is mutual. So to sum up, close now, later on she will get cold!
There is also another dangerous thing about not going for the lay at the moment she is on a “hot state”, as she might go away and hook up with another guy. The thing is that you have pumped up her state, so her state is high and sexual. This means that she will be in the same state that she was in with you at the moment a random moron approaches her and gives her a sex invitation. Now things are becoming dangerous! Because he will have extremely high chances to lay her thanks to your efforts! Especially if you haven’t tried to escalate on her, she won’t see you as a potential sex partner as she doesn’t feel like you are going to make things happen. She will also feel that you are not interested and think that she better find someone that is available for sex as that it is what she seeks now that she is horny and in the right state! The conclusion is still the same: close when the iron is hot, when she is in the right state, you should escalate to make things happen. However, sometimes, this is not an option. Maybe there is something that doesn’t work out, maybe she has been giving you too much resistance or the interaction isn’t going anywhere and you plan to break rapport by doing a take away (leaving the set/girl for certain amount of time) in order to give it a new try later on or maybe she has to go pee or her friends wants to be with her on the dance-floor… In this case you risk getting a cold vibe from your girl when you are re-approaching her later on. The state can change completely! She might have turned into a cold and lame woman! It might also have been the case that the situation didn’t allow you to escalate and she is getting bored and turning cold… The big question is then: “how do you get her back into the previous state (the sexual/attracted you state) she was in before you re-approached her without being needy and without spending too much time?”.
Well, there are some things you can do: First, we got to go for the sure thing even if you will re-engage her later just as insurance, and that is before breaking the interaction go for the number real quick (remember numbers don’t mean shit), I discuss several of the techniques I use in the post on how to get a number in dance floor/club game. But another way is to re-engage her again, try to do it accidentally which is my style, in other words you just happened to be there with her somehow, re-open and re-work the bubble again as explained in the post “what is the proper way for non verbal dance floor game”. You may have to engage her friends, or you may get her attention by dancing or being with other women and then re-opening like I suggested.
The reason why I love the bubble and micro-escalation is cause is not a huge spike of excitement and on her buyer temperature and then all of a sudden a big drop along with boredom and lack of curiosity and no more investment. Unfortunately, the state change in women specially in clubs is something similar to “rush hour traffic” there is not much you can do about it, other than what Gunwitch says “strike when the item is hot” or if going for the pull is not working be outcome independent and set up a meet following my sexting method, either way will work.
Leave a Comment